Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
