never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
