Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
