Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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