at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
