The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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