I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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