Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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