Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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