last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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