I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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