You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize