My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
