I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
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Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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