pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
