Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize