can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
