he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
