Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize