you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Randomize
