Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I supernannyed him into submission
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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