just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
