i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
