Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
