dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
