My room smells like vodka and shame
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
