So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
