How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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