I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
