I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
