Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Did you just see the Batmobile???
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
