Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
