if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
