she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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