you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
