Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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