So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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