I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
