on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
