just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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