Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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