So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
