Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
