I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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