Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
