I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize