"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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