Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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