yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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