I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
