Yo dont text me then not text me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
