meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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