It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
