There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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