She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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