last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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