I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
