I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
