She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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