Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
