Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
