I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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